Saturday 9 April 2022
Friday 8 April 2022
BBC Radio Play S01E13 - Crime Pays for William
This is a new original story for the BBC Play series.
Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Lionheart. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 6 8
It has been snowing in William's village, but it's not all good when a gangster makes his entrance. Read on to see how William and company deal with this intruder...
William and Ginger are putting the finishing touches to a snowman when Hubert comes along to aggravate the situation. A confrontation ensues, leading to a snowball fight, which culminates with Hubert getting hit solidly in the face. Hubert leaves with the threat that he'll get himself invited to lunch, and as guest will be able to eat all of the chocolate cake - leaving none for William!
This leads William to come up with a plan to teach Hubert a lesson, should he come back. The plan is to pile up snow on the flat roof above the porch, which can then be pushed onto Hubert with the souding of a secret word.
Some sandbags are moved out of the way, as this would 'half kill' Hubert. A very kind thought for William to have!
Violet Elizabeth visits and rebuffs pleas for her to leave with the infamous catchphrase, 'I'll thcream, an' I'll thcream, an' I'll thcream until I'm thick'.
William leaves Violet Elizabeth of the up on the porch roof crouching behind the sandbags, while he and Ginger leave to keep watch. They meet a returning Mr Brown, who is unimpressed that William hasn't removed the snow from the front door step and proceeds to do it himself.
Getting himself upset, the multiple conversations occur in a frenzied fashion. During which the volume increases. Ginger has forgotten the secret word and William shouts it in reminder. Upon hearing the secret word, Violet Elizabeth pushes the snow off onto an upset Mr Brown.
This leads William to be left at home, alone. His family head out for lunch, but each visit him secretly to assuage their guilt. They do this by providing William with either food, or permission to consume various foot items in the kitchen, he is even given some money! This is surely the 'punishment' that we all wished for as children!
Finally, left to his own devices, William opens the front door after the bell rings. Unfortunately, it is a gangster with a gun. William struggles to keep his mouth shut and gains himself a series of slaps and learns to speak when spoken to.
When Ginger and Violet Elizabeth knock at the door, the gangster wants William to get rid of them without giving him away. He does this by telling them that he'll be out soon to play the same game as this morning. Instead of snow, this time they'll play with sand.
Following this Sergeant Jukes calls to check on the Brown household as a dangerous character has been seen in the neighbourhood. William tells the Sergeant that his family are out, and receives the reply that Jukes will pop along on his bike to check on things.
The gangster is clearly unhappy with William, but cheers up a bit when William tells him that escape will be quicker via the front door. As the gangster exits, William shouts the secret word 'Gas meter', and the sandbags are dropped on the gangster.
In the final scene, William is explaining their plan to Jukes, but makes the mistake of telling him the secret word, which leaves them both covered in a dumping of snow!
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ethel |
| Robert |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Violet Elizabeth |
| Sgt. Jukes |
| Gangster |
Friday 1 April 2022
BBC Radio Play S01E12 - William's Den of Thieves
This is a new original story for the BBC Play series.
Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Lionheart. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 6 8
Robert has yet another forever love, this time a gold digger, read on how convoluted things become as William helps out!
Diana Trent calls on the telephone, which is answered by William. Robert is out with 'Lulu', but manages to explain that Lulu is a motorbike (avoiding a similar situation as S01E10 - William Starts the New Year).
William then bothers Robert for some money as he is in possession of £6 (about £215 in today's money), however Robert actually offers to buy William the toy yacht rather than just lend him the money. He's feeling guilty for missing William's birthdays while he was in the army.
However, what William should have been doing is telling Robert that Diana is on the phone, which 15 minutes later Ethel rectifies, calling Diana 'precious Diana' - clearly no love lost there!
According to Ethel, Diana is a 'harpy', a derogatory ways of saying 'a mean, foul-tempered woman.'. However, it isn't just Diana she's unhappy with. It stems from Robert being engaged to Ethel's friend Joan two weeks ago, but treating her badly.
Robert asks Mrs Brown if Diana can come to tea, which is agreed to. This results in William having Ginger over to tea too, but with a less enthusiastic response as he eats too much! This is resolved with Ethel remembering that she won't be attending tea as she's meeting her friend Dolly.
William settles down to do his school prep work, but gets distracted and envisions himself driving the Royal Scot, a British train. His interruption from this reverie is the arrival of Ginger along with Violet Elizabeth.
After some time playing doctors, Hubert delivers Diana to the Brown residence (as she has been staying with the Lanes). There is a disagreement between the two lads as it seems Hubert duped William into paying over the odds for a 1920 penny! As Hubert runs, he encounters a policeman blocking his escape. He knows all about Hubert Lane, so William is safe from undue reprisals.
The policeman is there to see Mr Brown as he's selling tickets for the Police Concert. Mrs Brown being out, the policeman leaves vowing to return later that evening.
Eventually, the conversation between William and Diana, which is a long one as nobody has seen fit to inform Robert that Diana has arrived, turns to Robert's money. Diana feels that Robert must be rich, as Ginger has told her that Robert is going to be a yacht tomorrow. This interests Diana very much, she advises William if what he's saying is true that she'll be seeing a lot of Robert.
Mr and Mrs Brown return and there is a flurry of bills to be paid to callers. Mr Brown rushing in each time to get the money from Mrs Brown's bag, but is actually Diana's bag - they are identical. Robert happens to take care of Diana's bracelet when it falls off her wrist - and also her earrings for similar reasons.
Diana feels like she's being robbed in plain sight and calls the lot of them thieves before getting her things back and slapping Robert in the face. By this time the policeman has returned. Robert freshly slapped asks, partly to himself, 'What on earth did she slap my face for?', the policeman responds with, 'Oh, you never know with women, sir.'
I doubt we'll be seeing Diana again any time soon!
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ethel |
| Robert |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Violet Elizabeth |
| Diana Trent |
| Policeman |
Friday 25 March 2022
BBC Radio Play S01E11 - William Makes the Films
This is a new original story for the BBC Play series.
Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Lionheart. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 6 8
A joyous play in which William once again bests Hubert Lane by impressing a film director. Before is all unravels...
In a change to the regular set up, there is no Mrs Brown yelling, 'William'. However, as usual, we do find William at home.
Mrs Brown is encouraging William to write elaborate thank you letters for the Christmas presents he has received. Of course, to William this is 'torcher'.
The adult Browns are all heading to the Lanes house to meet a film director. Mr Lane has some financial arrangement with the director and he has agreed to provide them with a lecture. Shockingly, William has not been invited!
Eventually, William heads out to the old barn and provides the secret knock. Well, a version of it, as it seems William has adapted it along the way! With the barn door being blocked, due to Ginger's over-enthusiastic barricading, William enters via a hole in the wall. Once in, he finds that Ginger has acquired a prisoner in the form of Violet Elizabeth, who has very helpfully tied herself up.
Following this, Hubert breaches the peace, primarily to boast about the film director that is due to visit his home. He also makes it very clear that he ensured William would not be invited. This is a boast that Hubert would not normally make, however he is accompanied by Albert (S01E05 - William Finds a Home for Albert), his new bodyguard.
Albert is much the same, although laying on the 1930s American gangster accent on a bit too thick: 'Shall I give dis guy de woiks, boss?' being just one humorous example.
Hubert and Albert make a swift exit at William's repeated orders. He, Ginger, and Violet Elizabeth decide to make their own film. With a goat!
While William and Ginger retrieve the goat from the field, we are left with Violet Elizabeth, who provides us with her first monologue. Our first entry into the private mind of Violet Elizabeth is perhaps not as different as her public persona. She wishes to be a Queen in the film, with others at her beck and call, while she knights William with a borrowed sword.
The children are 'treated' to Ginger's Firewater recipe consisting of liquorice, custard powder, tomato sauce, lemon essence, and brown sugar all mixed in an old ginger pop bottle. If any dear readers are brave enough to try this recipe - and survive to tell the tale - please do get in touch via Facebook!
Though a series of evens, William flags down Mr Schmoltz's car, to prevent it bursting tyres on glass in the road. This elaborate and extravagant man gives them a one pound reward and offers to be in his next big production. He then follows them to the barn with his assistant, a likely long-suffering, Miss Filbert. After declaring them all to be geniuses to be given big roles in his next production, including the goat. They head of to the Lane's abode.
Hubert's first words upon seeing our gang: 'Who asked you here, William Brown - you hoppit'. However, Mr Schmoltz considers William to be stupendous, magnificent, colossal. So for the time being, William and friend stay.
Schmoltz orders Mrs Lane to get ice cream and a whole host of other goodies. However, we soon hear the news from Ginger that Florence, the goat, has eaten Schmoltz's hat. The same hat we've been told he was given by the Czar of all the Russias.
Considering this a personal and intentional insult, all references to geniuses cease and are replaced instead by 'pig-dogs', all contacts null and void. Schmoltz, along with Miss Filbert, exit.
The play announcer, Margaret, sums this all up quite nicely: 'Well, that's show business for you.'
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ethel |
| Robert |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Violet Elizabeth |
| Mrs Lane |
| Miss Filbert |
| Mrs Lane's Parlourmaid (Perkins) |
| Albert |
| Mr Schmoltz |
Tuesday 22 March 2022
Richmal Crompton, Author of Just William: A Literary Life by Jane McVeigh
Not long now until this Richmal Crompton biography is released on 3 May (a change from July 9).
I noticed that there has been another price drop, this time to £15.83 from the original £17.99.
Head over to Amazon and check it out: https://amzn.to/3I81gKX
Friday 18 March 2022
BBC Radio Play S01E10 - William Starts the New Year
This is a new original story for the BBC Play series.
Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Ian Smith and Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Lionheart. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 6 8
This is the first play in Volume 2 of the Richmal Crompton BBC plays, it is also the first play broadcast in 1946. The new year brought about a new air time of 8:45pm, which feels like an odd time to air such a programme, however regular afternoon repeats were provided.
 |
| Just William episode advertised in the newspaper. |
Outlaws and William is wrapped up telling the story of Antonio.
Antonio is a person who has had a change of heart and begins helping people. Of course, William thinks that this should be emulated, and when better to start than the 1st of January.
William may well have gotten out of actually performing any helpful tasks, if not for Hubert, who appears at the barn, as always, uninvited.
Our hero spends the rest of the day doing his genuine best to assist him family, who are all getting ready for a part that very evening. All the while, regardless of who William is helping, he recites the story of Antonio. Sadly, the story falls on distracted ears and never runs its full course, as William is send off to help another family member when accidental destruction happens at William's helping hands.
Just part of the eventual excitement includes:
When Mrs Brown tells William that she is giving him permission to clean 'Lulu', Robert's motorbike, he spends his time pretending to ride it instead! Being caught by Robert has him sent inside, where he answers the phone to Robert's latest forever love, Joan. He tells her that Robert is busy with Lulu in the garage and doesn't have time to come to the telephone!
Helping Ethel run a bath leads to fabric dye, rather than bath soap being added to the water. Using the electric sweeper, an early vacuum cleaner, leads to Mr Brown not only tripping over the cable, but tripping the fuse box. Ethel then gets into the bath, not wanting to lose a minute in preparation for the party.
Robert catches fire from the candle he is holding to see the fuse box in the dark, leading William knock over the telephone and inadvertently calling a fire engine. Joan arrives to throw Robert's love letters back at him as she is distraught about his new girl, Lulu.
As the fuse box is switch back on and the light restored, Ethel is heard screaming. She has discovered that she is now dyed blue. The sirens of a fire engine is heard on approach.
William ends the frantic scene with: "But, Dad - I was only tryin' to help. That was my New Year's resolution."
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ethel |
| Robert |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Violet Elizabeth |
| Joan |
| Telephone Operator |
Friday 11 March 2022
Book Review: William - The Terrible (BBC Radio Plays Volume 1)
The first edition, published in 2008, was limited to 300 copies and are of quality paper in a hardback cover, with attractive dustcover.
Illustrations are all selected by the publisher from various editions of Happy Mag and more or less represent the story that they are associated with. I think David Schutte made a good choice, with so many new stories appearing in the BBC play series, it must have been difficult to select appropriate illustrations.
The book has a foreword by Martin Jarvis, which itself begins with some fan fiction that Martin has written, before delving in to some basic history about Crompton and the Just William series.
This is followed by an introduction by David Schutte regarding how the volumes came about and changes that he has made. These include, editing the plays so that William doesn't drop his aitches - purely because he doesn't in the book series. Examples include adding a 'h' to "w'at" and "w'en". While these changes do make for easier reading, children do drop their aitches. It is only some adults that like to prescribe 'proper' language use that would point this out. Schutte has also recreated the lisp of Violet Elizabeth in written form, which the voice actor knew she had to include, but wasn't included in the scripts. This makes for more difficult reading.
The plays follow a specific format. After bring introduced by the announcer (listed once as Margaret Hubble), Mrs Brown yells 'William!', who responds with a version of, 'All right - I'm here'. This happens even when the play begins with William and Ginger at the cinema.
Another part of the format is the idea of William turning over a new leaf, which turns into an in joke within the plays. I think it is only episode 9, William's Christmas Day, which does not include this reference. It is not only funny to the audience, but often diffuses tensions between the characters within the play.
The stories are fantastic and longer than in the books. Without the need for description in prose, there is much more emphasis on dialogue. This not only changes the dynamic between the characters, because so much more must be described for the audience, but also reveals deeper versions of the characters that we have come to know and love.
William has much better relationships with his family in the plays. They talk more to him and are much more understanding of his actions. It becomes obvious that William is a younger version of Mr Brown and it feels less like William was an (unhappy) accident. The happy family dynamics remind me much more of the other Crompton creation, Jimmy, and his family. This makes the plays a joy to read.
The addition of the original draft of Fireworks Strictly Forbidden reveals that there must have been many changes to Crompton's original content, but mostly for the better. It also reveals that Crompton, at least in the beginning, didn't include the necessary instructions for scene and music.
The quality of the publishing is fantastic. With great choices of illustrations and font face and size. Cast lists and programme information is a wonderful inclusion and really makes these books important for the history of Crompton's literature.
An absolute joy to read and worth every penny.
To get a copy, contact David Schutte, or check out places such as eBay.
| Play Title | Series and Episode Number |
|---|---|
| Fireworks Strictly Forbidden (Plus original draft at back) |
S01 E01 |
| William, Prime Minister | S01 E02 |
| William - Pond Dweller | S01 E03 |
| William, Ethel, and Mr. Right | S01 E04 |
| William Finds a Home for Albert | S01 E05 |
| William Gets Robert a Job | S01 E06 |
| William's Good Deed | S01 E07 |
| William Buys a Present | S01 E08 |
| William's Christmas Day | S01 E09 |
Friday 4 March 2022
BBC Radio Play S01E09 - William's Christmas Day
This is a new original story for the BBC Play series.
Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Ian Smith and Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Terrible. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 4 4
This is the final play of volume one, but not of series one, which is continued in volume two up to episode 18, the last that Richmal wrote for the 35 episode first series.
In this play we have William having to put up with the unexpected addition of Violet Elizabeth to his Christmas day, but as is typical we meet the family at the breakfast table.
Robert has received a scarf, but it required coupons to purchase. Rationing in Britain didn't end officially until 1954, and included food and petrol. Books would either has coupons, or lists of products with a space for a stamp to show when that product has been used. I have included a couple of examples from the Calne Heritage Centre, a place where I volunteer as a Trustee.
Ethel is ecstatic with her presents, including a bed jacket (which look similar to cardigans to my mind).
The hilarity comes when the family are discussing the presents William has gifted them. With each one, including the water pistol he's given his dad, meant to eventually be returned to him, or borrowed when the family member isn't using the item. I'll not go through the list, as it's so well written in the play and better read first-hand!
A telephone call announces that an aunt of Violet Elizabeth's is very ill and therefore VE needs to spend the day at the Brown household. I can quite imagine the joy on Violet Elizabeth's face as she begged to spend the day with William before that phone call was made!
Mr Brown vows to dress up at Father Christmas to give young Violet Elizabeth a lovely day, leading William to say that Father Christmas needs to be small, not big - and also leading to William getting stuck in a chimney proving his theory. Covered in soot, he ends up in the bath.
William is such an 'in the moment' character, that despite Mrs Brown repeatedly telling him to hurry, he finds various things to do while in the bath. I suspect that William would unintentionally been a master of mindfulness as he became an adult.
Mr Brown and Robert discuss the options for attire as Mr Browns Father Christmas suit isn't available anymore. They decide on Father Christmas visiting by aeroplane and therefore need a flight suit, that Robert will procure.
William heads out to meet Ginger and, unhappily, collect Violet Elizabeth. While William has been given a mouth organ, Ginger has been given a trumpet. With Hubert (selling Christmas cards on Christmas day) in tow, they start carolling, Violet Elizabeth singing 'Noel'.
They raise threepence, which they deliver to a bemused vicar before William and Violet Elizabeth head back to the Brown household.
After lunch, Robert helps Mr Brown secretly put on the flight suit. William is in charge of the cable to plug in the Christmas tree lights. Mrs Brown tells Violet Elizabeth that she's just heard and aeroplane fly past, to give VE anticipation that Father Christmas is due any moment.
An already uncomfortable Mr Brown is almost roasted like the dinner meat when William loses the Christmas tree cable and accidentally plugs in the cable that keeps the flight suit warm at altitude!
All in all, a wonderful Christmas.
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ethel |
| Robert |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Violet Elizabeth |
| Vicar |
Friday 25 February 2022
BBC Radio Play S01E08 - William Buys a Present
This is a new original story for the BBC Play series.
Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Ian Smith and Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Terrible. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 4 4
In this eventful tale, we further discover how much like his father William is! We often see both leaving the house, needing reminders about where shoes, hats, etc are. But in this tale, the outcomes of both William and Mr Brown so similarly conclude, showing that William is truly his father's son.
The topic of conversation as we enter the Brown household, this December morning, is about Christmas presents. More specifically, Mr and Mrs Brown are discussing what to get Ethel, who has finished three years of 'hard barrack-room soft of life'. Mrs Brown is trying to emphasise that Ethel will want to feel soft and pretty again, a concept that Mr Brown cannot understand. This is semi-concluded with the resolution that Mrs Brown will get a present for Ethel. At which point, the discussion turns to William, who Mr Brown immediately forbids the purchase of a chemistry kit as a Christmas present, with the call back to fireworks (mentioned in a previous episode) that William had made for VJ Day earlier in the year.
After some antics that leave Mr Brown's niblick broken, Ethel mentions a new man in her life. This man, going by the name of Charlie Boyd, is to gift Ethel a gramophone, so she gives Mr Brown £2 to obtain some records for her. Ethel readies her father for work, as he has forgotten where his briefcase, etc. are located!
Ethel walks him to the train station, giving Mrs Brown time to remember that Miss Milton has created the most lovely quilted silk dressing gown. The most perfect present for Ethel. While William is trying to convince her to buy Ethel a chemistry set instead!
Mrs Brown can't attend the sale it will be sold at (as the chimneysweep is due), and sends William instead, with a sum of money to act as a deposit. Before William leaves, he answers the phone to Charlie Boyd, who cannot now obtain the gramophone and refuses to send his 'love' to Ethel as he doesn't know her well enough. Poor Ethel.
William is first in line for the dressing gown with old pal, Ginger. Unfortunately, he doesn't declare his interest. While Ginger is frantically searching William's body for the money, another customer comes in and purchases the dressing gown, even though William is asking her to wait just a moment. Miss Milton sends William, Ginger, and Violet Elizabeth away as they are all furious with her.
Hubert entices William over to his stall and sell him a white cat, apparently for Mrs Brown, and a broken gramophone, for Ethel. How William falls for it, I don't know. But Hubert sells the gramophone on the fact that it only works when being manually wound - meaning that you don't have to get up to switch the thing off when you're done with it!
Violet Elizabeth carries the cat home for William and it is hidden in the shed (unknowingly with a bag of soot kept by the chimneysweep for Mr Brown's garden). Violet Elizabeth leaves and William enters his home, but not before actually thinking her for carrying the cat.
Mr Brown returns home, having spent money on records that he actually likes, under the guise that they were cheaper and therefore Ethel has money left over. He also presents Mrs Brown with a golf book that he has been wanting to read for some time!
William presents Ethel with the gramophone and Mr Brown sets to work with one of the records. William declares that he also has a present for Mrs Brown and sets off to the shed to recover the cat. While Miss Milton arrives to retrieve her white cat, which Hubert had stolen and sold. She is grateful to William for buying the cat and brings a chemistry set.
Although, the play ends in screams as white cats and bags of soot mix rather too well!
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ethel |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Violet Elizabeth |
| Miss Milton |
| Miss Sprott |
| Sweep and Visiting Celebrity |
Friday 18 February 2022
BBC Radio Play S01E07 - William's Good Deed
This is a new original story for the BBC Play series.
Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Terrible. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 4 4
We are brought into the story at the Brown's house, as they are settled down to breakfast. The topic of discussion is that of Miss Gilpin and her worsening fortunes. From having many staff to care for her and her house, she is now needing to sell the unstaffed house to pay off debt, but cannot find the title deed. To this end, she has enlisted Mr Brown's help (and that of his solicitor).
Mr Brown is in a rush and, quite sensibly, considers the yellow-coloured liquid in his new jar of honey, to be actual honey. Unfortunately, it turns out to be bicycle oil, which all makes quite logical sense in the play, but not so much sense for Mr Brown's unfortunate taste buds.
Miss Gilpin is a friend of William. To be fair, anyone that feeds William, is a friend of William. This is a bond that William will not break, it is sacred to him. If William's friends are in any trouble, he will be there to lend a hand in making things right.
This is just so with Miss Gilpin. He enlists an unwilling Ginger to assist in searching Miss Gilpin's house for the 'doins' (title deed). Violet Elizabeth bribes her way into the search effort by way of offering William an ostrich's egg.
Fortunately, William knows a way into the house via the cellar. It isn't long until Hubert is discovered going through Miss Gilpin's things. The debt she owes is to Mr Lane. Hubert expects a commission for the repayment of this debt, if he is the one to discover the title deed.
William is about to 'slosh' Hubert for breaking the pedestal that held the bust of Miss Gilpin's father, made by her sister. However, Mr Brown steps in with Miss Gilpin before a single fist is thrown.
Mr Brown is in the process of replacing the bust onto the pedestal, despite protests from William, when the weight of the bust splits the pedestal apart. The result is unfortunately, a broken bust. The second result is fortunately, the title deeds - which Miss Gilpin's sister must have placed within the bust for safe-keeping.
Another happy ending for William. A joy to read the lengths that boy will go when endeavouring to help a friend.
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Violet Elizabeth |
| Miss Gilpin |
| Announcer (Margaret Hubble) Note: This is the first time that the announcer has been mentioned in the cast list. |
Friday 11 February 2022
BBC Radio Play S01E06 - William Gets Robert a Job
This is a new original story for the BBC Play series, with small elements from the story in Happy Mag 163a
Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Terrible. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 4 4
After looking for a wardrobe for Robert in the previous play, Mr and Mrs Brown are now anxiously awaiting his return on leave from the army.
Interestingly, when he returns, he refers to Mrs Brown as 'mummy', and Mr Brown as 'Dad'. Compared to the books, this feels like quite an early change from 'Mother' and 'Father'.
Even William is pleased at the return of his brother and attempts a '21 gun salute', but using Mr Brown's golf bag, blowing out the bottom in the process. Surprisingly, Mr Brown doesn't blow his top, but quickly recovers composure, accepting that it would have been worse.
Robert gives presents all round (Ethel, we assume has returned to her post at the Auxiliary Territorial Service), with William receiving a decommissioned, but authentic, German pistol. When we discover that Robert is engaged (again), and in need of work as he is due to be demobbed from the army in the very near future; William decides to find him a job.
As William leaves, full from lunch, he mutters along to himself. He imagines an earlier time, when he could have gone up to Hounslow Heath and 'got some wicked old man's money off him' by shouting 'stand and deliver', backed up with the pistol that Robert has given him. Hounslow Heath, is an area that used to be crossed by the main routes to London and the south west of England and was notorious for highway robbers. If only he could do this, then Robert wouldn't have need of a job at all.
Ginger appears and immediately shows appreciation of William's new possession. Of course, William neglects to tell Ginger it no longer works!
After considering where they could get a free newspaper to look at the jobs listed, they eventually head to the library. Both Violet Elizabeth and Hubert enter into the story: Violet Elizabeth happens upon William and Ginger. Hubert is already at the library, improving his reading, which he enjoys.
They find a job listing that sounds good to William, but they have no money for a telephone call. Violet Elizabeth is sent to sing in the hope that people will give her the money to make a call, while the ads check telephone kiosks. Eventually one telephone that gives then the change it was holding. However, after a hectic call with the operator, Hubert knabs the money and makes a run for it. Although not before delivering the line of the play in response to being told that Robert is engaged: "If you ask me he's a sorta matrimonial addict". Indeed, Hubert, indeed.
Sir Austin Smith enters the scene and offers them the money for the call. Upon seeing the telephone number, he realises that they are looking to respond to his job advertisement. William speaks so well on his brothers behalf that Smith follows him to the Brown residence.
Smith realises that Robert is of a higher calibre than the advertised job and upon a good reference from Robert's commanding officer, will employ Robert as his private secretary.
The ending to his lovely story is that Violet Elizabeth receives a shilling from passers-by. Her response? "Ooh! Thank you - but I really only wanted tuppenthe"
So lovely to read a story with no trouble for our often troubled hero.
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Robert |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Violet Elizabeth |
| Sir Austin Smith |
| Telephone Operator |
Friday 4 February 2022
BBC Radio Play S01E05 - William Finds a Home for Albert
Story first appeared in Happy Mag 19/1, under the title of, 'William Starts the New Year'.
Edited by Rex Diamond and adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Terrible. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 4 4
This is the first play in which we do not begin in the safe haven of the Brown household. Instead, we find William and Ginger at the cinema, just as the film is reaching its climax.
The hero of the film finds and returns a stolen infant. And, of course, William will do whatever he can to emulate the hero that has captured his imagination for this particular afternoon.
William and Ginger are forcibly removed from the cinema, as William's rat has escaped, giving them some extra time to enact William's plan to be a hero. Upon their exit, they come across Hubert, who after an explanation, seems keen on ensuring William sticks to his promise of doing good things for people. Starting with giving a kid on the street his final sweet - leaving William with none for himself.
This kids turns out to be the titular Albert, a kid who makes money selling coal, which he steals from coal carts by distracting horses with turnips. Gaining all round respect from our lads.
As he returns home, William hears of Miss Milton's plan for 'stronger members of the community' to help with the burdens of the weaker members, including adopting children. Miss Milton makes it clear that she doesn't have time to look after a child. She's rarely home, as she is a member of ever-so-many committees. This doesn't stop William questioning exactly what child she would like, if she could have one.
Mrs Brown is having none of this suggestion that she should adopt a child, and explains bluntly her situation. The result is Miss Milton upset by her 'attitude'. Before Milton leaves, Mr Brown enters and arranges to view Milton's wardrobe, to see if it is suitable for Robert on his return from the army.
Albert takes a lot of convincing to stay at Miss Milton's house. He prefers to sleep in the kitchen, rather than a bed. But, never-the-less William gets his way and they enter the neat and tidy home of Miss Milton and manage to get Albert in bed. Without time to escape, William, Ginger, and a Violet Elizabeth in just her knickers (read the play!), hide in the wardrobe. All this, just at the time Miss Milton and Mr Brown enter the bedroom.
An enjoyable (for the reader) confusion and uproar ensue. Mr Brown has misunderstood the entire adoption scheme and thinks that Miss Milton has lead the way by adopting the boy in her bed. He congratulates an increasingly faint Miss Milton, but eventually the murky waters become clear.
There is an explanation given by William, which his father accepts as him trying to turn over a new leaf. We leave William in the same state we found him - with Rufus the rat gone missing!
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Violet Elizabeth |
| Miss Milton |
| Albert |
| Commissionaire and Policeman |
| Lady (at cinema) |
Friday 28 January 2022
BBC Radio Play S01E04 - William, Ethel, and Mr. Right
Story first appeared in Happy Mag 94, under the title of, 'Entertainment Provided'.
Edited by Rex Diamond and adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Terrible. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 4 4
We find Ethel at home on leave, with Mrs Brown advising her husband, 'Now, dear. Ethel is nineteen, and very attractive. She naturally wants to go about and have a good time. You were the same at her age'. He agrees and William suggests their dustman has taken an interest in his older sister.
This suggestion goes down like a lead balloon.
Through conversation we discover that Ethel is currently corresponding with Hector, George, Gordon, Arthur, along with Jimmy, who has sent Ethel a dressing gown from Cairo. With all of these young men away for various reasons, Ethel is somewhat bored!
However, Mr Brown receives a letter from a business acquaintance by the name of Mr Wright, who will visit this afternoon, before Mr Brown will be able to get home. Mrs Brown says that she will look after him in the interim. Wright does some work at the Stock Exchange and Ethel says that she'll look after him when Mrs Brown realises that she has double-booked herself.
Wright happens to be the same surname as William's history teacher. The teacher that William is currently holding on a pedestal, and the same teacher that William now considers would be a good match for his sister.
Mr Brown leaves in a huff because William, the ever-helpful, has polished his work shoes with Blacklead, a product for cleaning the fire grate. Mr Brown gets it over his face, with little time to remedy the situation and Ethel doing what she can with a handkerchief.
Even so, William leaves for school happily as Ethel has gifted him a real army penknife. Ginger is suitably impressed, whereas Violet Elizabeth just talks about her uncle who 'driveth a thubmarine'.
William mentions that Ethel goes to 'Bottle parties' in London. These parties were effectively loopholes that meant between the 1920s and 1940s you could drink at an establishment after hours (after midnight), as long as you were invited and had ordered your drinks in advance! The alcohol could be delivered at any time and it has been written that girls could appear 'double desirable' in this 'romantic atmosphere', providing the opportunity for romantic relationships to progress a step further[1].
Fortunately, the youngsters conclusion is that people stand around drinking out of bottles, leading Violet Elizabeth to think it rude as only babies drink out of bottles!
Hubert is of course interested in the knife and William makes a deal to swap back Hubert' knife for the harmonica previously traded - leading William to make a plans for a booby trap when Hubert will arrive after school to make the reverse trade.
As school ends, William takes the opportunity to talk to Mr Wright, the history teacher, to ask hi to teach Ethel. With expert responses, William makes Mr Wright believe that Ethel has a learning disability and is home from an institution and he agrees to make an assessment.
After introducing Mr Wright to Ethel, William and Ginger head off to set up the booby trap - a bucket of water hanging from the bracket of the front door. The conversation between Ethel and Wright is stilted as she is talking about the Stock Exchange and misunderstanding, Wright thinks she is asking what bulls and cows are in the biological rather than economic sense.
The confusion becomes, slowly, clear when Mrs Brown returns home. Then the second Mr Wright enters the door and is drenched by the booby trap that awaited Hubert. With four angry adult voices aimed in his direction, and seemingly no escape, I wonder how William dealt with the fallout of this play, that ends abruptly.
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Violet Elizabeth |
| Ethel |
| Mr Wright |
| Mr Wright (2) |
[1] Bottle Parties, 1940s (boakandbailey.com)
Sunday 23 January 2022
Upcoming Book: Richmal Crompton, Author of Just William: A Literary Life
Richmal Crompton, Author of Just William: A Literary Life
After bring listed on Amazon for a few weeks, there is now an image associated with the upcoming biography by Dr Jane McVeigh, which is due 23 July 2022.
Here's the link for anyone wanting to read about the book, or place a pre-order:
Friday 21 January 2022
BBC Radio Play S01E03 - William - The Pond-dweller
This is a new original story for the BBC Play series.
Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Rex Diamond and Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Terrible. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 4 4
As far as it goes, Mr Brown is in a jubilant mood. He has bested 'Old Colonel Hawkins' and his new steel-shafted clubs at golf with his old hickory clubs.
His mood is so good that when Miss Milton comes to complain that William has been in 'her pond', which in living memory has been public property, Mr Brown actually says that William is a 'fine boy', not only that but he has taken on Mrs Brown's favourite phrase that William has turned over a new leaf.
Miss Milton is most unpleased by this response. Now that a solicitor has confirmed that, historically, the pond belonged to her property, she has fenced it off.
We also have something here that is often missing in the books - continuity - which Crompton admitted she was lax about in an interview. Mr Brown mentions William has faultless behaviour since he broke the geyser and insulted the MP in previous weeks.
Of course, this 'faultless behaviour' must always come to an end; otherwise William wouldn't be our William!
In this case a golf ball crashes through a window and smashes a vase close to Miss Milton, upsetting her further.
With no damage done to Miss Milton, they eventually get rid of her. This leaves William and his father to have a most cordial conversation about golf, which Mr Brown is pleased his son is taking an interest in. Well, he was interested, until he realises that William has broken a cherished club.
Of course, in true William fashion, he goes for a walk before any consequences can be brought down upon him.
The eternally 'unwanted' Violet Elizabeth makes herself known to William, who has been muttering to himself during his walk, shortly followed by the addition of Ginger. Discussions about how to get back the pond from 'Milly', Miss Milton, are just beginning when Hubert Lane appears holding a white flag of peace and proposing an armistice between his and William's gangs until the pond is returned to their rightful ownership.
Options are discussed for the method by which the pond will be returned to them. Eventually, the idea of a message in a bottle, found at the bottom of the pond, will do the trick.
Hubert certainly knows his history and dictates a well considered letter to William. When this is complete, and a bottle found, the group decide to meet that very midnight to progress their combined mission.
Violet Elizabeth scares William when she appears as a ghost, which is actually a mackintosh that happens to be too large for the girl. We also discover that Hubert has been waiting for them, unseen. The reason for Hubert's early arrive is realised when William climbs the tree to deliver the bottle to the pond. A laughing Hubert confesses that he has sawn the tree branch almost clean through after William falls unexpectedly into the pond.
This commotion awakes Miss Milton, who is heard screaming at her window.
The final scene is full of suspense as Miss Milton arrives at the home of the Brown family talking about going to the police. William is desperately trying to squirm his way out of the room with the excuse of wanting to get to school (raising Mr Brown's suspicions). However, as things become clear, we realise that Miss Milton (who has Spiritualism as her current fad), has concluded that the 'thing' she saw at midnight is a tormented spirit that inhabits the pond.
An unsteady Miss Milton agrees that William can use the pond, which will now be unfenced from her garden. As William leaves in a rush to get to School to inform Ginger of their success, Mr Brown confesses that 'It all looks very fishy to me'.
Indeed!
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Violet Elizabeth |
| Miss Milton |
Friday 14 January 2022
BBC Radio Play S01E02 - William, Prime Minister
Story first appeared in Happy Mag 85, June 1929 Issue, under the same title.
Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Rex Diamond.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Terrible. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 4 4
This episode begins at the home of the Browns on a Saturday afternoon by the fire.
Setting up later events, Mr Brown receives a letter from Mr Lane, asking him to second the proposal of more classes for the youth by the MP that is staying with him. Brown is pleased by this, particularly as Mrs Brown says that politics needs clever people such as himself.
The bathroom geyser, a natural gas water heater originally invented by Benjamin Waddy Maughan, a painter, in 1868 (dangerous to use as no flue for venting gas vapours), has recently been fixed. The one owned by the Browns may have been a later model designed by Ewart and Son that could mix hot and cold water to the desired temperature.
We discover William double-checking this resolution by the sound of the boiler bursting, just as his mother was imploring Mr Brown to give 'the boy a chance'. That chance goes flying out of the window as William explains that there has been a 'bit of an accident with the ole geyser', which has exploded and according to Mr Brown, 'wrecked the place'.
As in episode one, William goes off mumbling to himself about the injustice of the world aimed towards him. An issue he intends to resolve by becoming Prime Minister.
Ginger meets William and upon spotting Hubert Lane through a hedge, they fire shots at him with William new garters. This eventually ends in a discussion which leads to a General Election in the barn later that day. William as Conservative, Ginger as Liberal, and Hubert as Socialist. I was surprised to see that the same Socialist party still exists as the Socialist Party of Great Britain (SPGB). It last put forward two candidates for the 2019 General Election, achieving just 157 votes and no seats. In comparison, the Conservative party gain 13,966,454 votes and stayed in power with 365 seats, something William may have been happy with considering that his father was Conservative.
The speeches are due to take place in the barn and this is the ideal entrance of Violet Elizabeth. She is fantastic in this scene as she has no fear of the boys and has a talent for heckling them. Ginger has the idea that his success will be based on inviting his voters to his next birthday party with the benefits of looking at his aunt's parrot through the window. This falls as Violet Elizabeth though the previous party was 'a rotten party'.
Hubert explains that Socialism is about getting other people's money and sharing it around. This will make all of his voters richer. This stumbles when Violet Elizabeth points out the flawed logic of this idea. As if everyone becomes a Socialist, then there will be no money to share around from elsewhere. Hubert's attempt falls when he ends his speech with saying that if anyone in the audience had an sense they'd see the logic of this proposal.
William simply tells a story of an Air Force pilot in WWII and the Battle of Britain, who took down 18 Germain planes in one fell swoop. William survives the questioning and says that this pilot was a Conservative. William is unanimously elected!
This brings us back to Mr Brown's letter as the children become aware that there is an MP wanting to give them extra classes. With much cajoling, William is convinced that as the newly elected Prime Minister, he must attend the adult's meeting and put a stop to this monstrous proposal.
The children all attend the meeting through Mrs Bott, who lets them in. The MP is pleased to have children taking an interest, well she was, until William started speaking!
The MP learns that this is Mr Browns boy, which puts Mr Brown out in the cold when he arrives late when he is received with the MP stating to him, 'I wonder how you dare to show your face here'.
We don't know if the classes are adopted, but we can imagine William's fate as Britain's most short-lived Prime Minister.
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Mr Lane |
| Violet Elizabeth |
| Miss Crump |
| 1st Boy |
| 2nd Boy |
Friday 7 January 2022
BBC Radio Play S01E01 - Fireworks Strictly Forbidden
Story first appeared in Happy Mag 78 as Fireworks Strictly Prohibited on 1/11/1928.
Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Rex Diamond and Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Terrible. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 4 4
In this, the first of 55 plays written by Richmal Crompton, we witness William's dilemma as he attempts to buy fireworks on the 5 November 1945.
We greet the family, minus Robert, at home during lunchtime. Ethel on leave from the ATS (Auxiliary Territorial Service), the woman's branch of the British Army that operated between 1938 and 1949 - showing quite a mature level of responsibility for the often care-free Ethel - although, you wouldn't think so with her continued immature attitude towards William and his appearance!
The first method is simply to ask the parent who makes such decisions. In this case, it is Mr Brown, and in this case, the answer is no (is it ever yes!?).
William begs a little before offering to weed the garden for the bargain rate of a penny for each square foot. With the payment of sixpence in advance. The offer is, unsurprisingly, declined. Not only this, but Mr Brown specifically tells William he is not to have fireworks at all, due to previous damage he has inflicted with them.
Our hero then hears Ethel speaking of a friend to made money by selling her hair, which puts a seed of a thought into his head.
After lunch, William goes off in a huff speaking to himself about the injustice of the situation. He is met by Ginger, who has had no luck in obtaining fireworks either.
The boys head off to the nearest hair salon, which happens to be in Hadley, and operated by a Cockney speaking with a fake French accent. Innocently, William explains that he's been sent by his sister on business, which coaxes the manager out. However, upon realising that it is William's head of hair for sale, he gives the boys short thrift and sends them on their way.
Hubert Lane is the next obstacle. Already, metaphorically, throwing his abundance of fireworks in their faces, William and Ginger chase after, but lose him at the cinema. However, this gives William yet another idea for a plan!
They head off to the Lane abode, wrapped in bandages from a first aid box, asking for a bicycle pump. Managing to convince Mrs Lane that just opening a box of reputable Tonks fireworks leads to them exploding in the face of the unwitting box opener, she gives the boys her unopened fireworks for disposal. Mrs Lane even offers to pay them half a crown each, but William is overcome by conscience and refuses on behalf of bot himself and Ginger.
That evening they are lighting fireworks, and about the light the fire, when a furious Mr Brown approaches. William manages to manipulate his father into joining in with the festivities by asking for his advice on how to set up and light a firework properly.
Mr Brown uses the same manipulation when Mr Lane and Hubert discover that William has the 'stolen' fireworks, by asking Mr Lane how to properly light a fire.
As William, and Mr Brown, say, "What does it matter as long as we're all enjoying ourselves" - Indeed, and if only the world worked more inline with this philosophy.
This play is accompanied by Richmal Crompton's original script for the play. The final script is greatly expanded, with a few changes, including the idea for selling hair for money coming from a book and not Ethel's friend. It is the scene at the Lane's house that is most changed and the original is worth a read.
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ethel |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Mrs Lane |
| Mr Lane |
| Hairdresser |
| Hairdresser's Assistant |
| 1st Boy |
| 2nd Boy |
| Gertrude the Maid |
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