Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Rex Diamond and Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Terrible. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 4 4
In this, the first of 55 plays written by Richmal Crompton, we witness William's dilemma as he attempts to buy fireworks on the 5 November 1945.
We greet the family, minus Robert, at home during lunchtime. Ethel on leave from the ATS (Auxiliary Territorial Service), the woman's branch of the British Army that operated between 1938 and 1949 - showing quite a mature level of responsibility for the often care-free Ethel - although, you wouldn't think so with her continued immature attitude towards William and his appearance!
The first method is simply to ask the parent who makes such decisions. In this case, it is Mr Brown, and in this case, the answer is no (is it ever yes!?).
William begs a little before offering to weed the garden for the bargain rate of a penny for each square foot. With the payment of sixpence in advance. The offer is, unsurprisingly, declined. Not only this, but Mr Brown specifically tells William he is not to have fireworks at all, due to previous damage he has inflicted with them.
Our hero then hears Ethel speaking of a friend to made money by selling her hair, which puts a seed of a thought into his head.
After lunch, William goes off in a huff speaking to himself about the injustice of the situation. He is met by Ginger, who has had no luck in obtaining fireworks either.
The boys head off to the nearest hair salon, which happens to be in Hadley, and operated by a Cockney speaking with a fake French accent. Innocently, William explains that he's been sent by his sister on business, which coaxes the manager out. However, upon realising that it is William's head of hair for sale, he gives the boys short thrift and sends them on their way.
Hubert Lane is the next obstacle. Already, metaphorically, throwing his abundance of fireworks in their faces, William and Ginger chase after, but lose him at the cinema. However, this gives William yet another idea for a plan!
They head off to the Lane abode, wrapped in bandages from a first aid box, asking for a bicycle pump. Managing to convince Mrs Lane that just opening a box of reputable Tonks fireworks leads to them exploding in the face of the unwitting box opener, she gives the boys her unopened fireworks for disposal. Mrs Lane even offers to pay them half a crown each, but William is overcome by conscience and refuses on behalf of bot himself and Ginger.
That evening they are lighting fireworks, and about the light the fire, when a furious Mr Brown approaches. William manages to manipulate his father into joining in with the festivities by asking for his advice on how to set up and light a firework properly.
Mr Brown uses the same manipulation when Mr Lane and Hubert discover that William has the 'stolen' fireworks, by asking Mr Lane how to properly light a fire.
As William, and Mr Brown, say, "What does it matter as long as we're all enjoying ourselves" - Indeed, and if only the world worked more inline with this philosophy.
This play is accompanied by Richmal Crompton's original script for the play. The final script is greatly expanded, with a few changes, including the idea for selling hair for money coming from a book and not Ethel's friend. It is the scene at the Lane's house that is most changed and the original is worth a read.
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ethel |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Mrs Lane |
| Mr Lane |
| Hairdresser |
| Hairdresser's Assistant |
| 1st Boy |
| 2nd Boy |
| Gertrude the Maid |
