Saturday 9 April 2022
Friday 8 April 2022
BBC Radio Play S01E13 - Crime Pays for William
This is a new original story for the BBC Play series.
Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Lionheart. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 6 8
It has been snowing in William's village, but it's not all good when a gangster makes his entrance. Read on to see how William and company deal with this intruder...
William and Ginger are putting the finishing touches to a snowman when Hubert comes along to aggravate the situation. A confrontation ensues, leading to a snowball fight, which culminates with Hubert getting hit solidly in the face. Hubert leaves with the threat that he'll get himself invited to lunch, and as guest will be able to eat all of the chocolate cake - leaving none for William!
This leads William to come up with a plan to teach Hubert a lesson, should he come back. The plan is to pile up snow on the flat roof above the porch, which can then be pushed onto Hubert with the souding of a secret word.
Some sandbags are moved out of the way, as this would 'half kill' Hubert. A very kind thought for William to have!
Violet Elizabeth visits and rebuffs pleas for her to leave with the infamous catchphrase, 'I'll thcream, an' I'll thcream, an' I'll thcream until I'm thick'.
William leaves Violet Elizabeth of the up on the porch roof crouching behind the sandbags, while he and Ginger leave to keep watch. They meet a returning Mr Brown, who is unimpressed that William hasn't removed the snow from the front door step and proceeds to do it himself.
Getting himself upset, the multiple conversations occur in a frenzied fashion. During which the volume increases. Ginger has forgotten the secret word and William shouts it in reminder. Upon hearing the secret word, Violet Elizabeth pushes the snow off onto an upset Mr Brown.
This leads William to be left at home, alone. His family head out for lunch, but each visit him secretly to assuage their guilt. They do this by providing William with either food, or permission to consume various foot items in the kitchen, he is even given some money! This is surely the 'punishment' that we all wished for as children!
Finally, left to his own devices, William opens the front door after the bell rings. Unfortunately, it is a gangster with a gun. William struggles to keep his mouth shut and gains himself a series of slaps and learns to speak when spoken to.
When Ginger and Violet Elizabeth knock at the door, the gangster wants William to get rid of them without giving him away. He does this by telling them that he'll be out soon to play the same game as this morning. Instead of snow, this time they'll play with sand.
Following this Sergeant Jukes calls to check on the Brown household as a dangerous character has been seen in the neighbourhood. William tells the Sergeant that his family are out, and receives the reply that Jukes will pop along on his bike to check on things.
The gangster is clearly unhappy with William, but cheers up a bit when William tells him that escape will be quicker via the front door. As the gangster exits, William shouts the secret word 'Gas meter', and the sandbags are dropped on the gangster.
In the final scene, William is explaining their plan to Jukes, but makes the mistake of telling him the secret word, which leaves them both covered in a dumping of snow!
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ethel |
| Robert |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Violet Elizabeth |
| Sgt. Jukes |
| Gangster |
Friday 1 April 2022
BBC Radio Play S01E12 - William's Den of Thieves
This is a new original story for the BBC Play series.
Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Lionheart. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 6 8
Robert has yet another forever love, this time a gold digger, read on how convoluted things become as William helps out!
Diana Trent calls on the telephone, which is answered by William. Robert is out with 'Lulu', but manages to explain that Lulu is a motorbike (avoiding a similar situation as S01E10 - William Starts the New Year).
William then bothers Robert for some money as he is in possession of £6 (about £215 in today's money), however Robert actually offers to buy William the toy yacht rather than just lend him the money. He's feeling guilty for missing William's birthdays while he was in the army.
However, what William should have been doing is telling Robert that Diana is on the phone, which 15 minutes later Ethel rectifies, calling Diana 'precious Diana' - clearly no love lost there!
According to Ethel, Diana is a 'harpy', a derogatory ways of saying 'a mean, foul-tempered woman.'. However, it isn't just Diana she's unhappy with. It stems from Robert being engaged to Ethel's friend Joan two weeks ago, but treating her badly.
Robert asks Mrs Brown if Diana can come to tea, which is agreed to. This results in William having Ginger over to tea too, but with a less enthusiastic response as he eats too much! This is resolved with Ethel remembering that she won't be attending tea as she's meeting her friend Dolly.
William settles down to do his school prep work, but gets distracted and envisions himself driving the Royal Scot, a British train. His interruption from this reverie is the arrival of Ginger along with Violet Elizabeth.
After some time playing doctors, Hubert delivers Diana to the Brown residence (as she has been staying with the Lanes). There is a disagreement between the two lads as it seems Hubert duped William into paying over the odds for a 1920 penny! As Hubert runs, he encounters a policeman blocking his escape. He knows all about Hubert Lane, so William is safe from undue reprisals.
The policeman is there to see Mr Brown as he's selling tickets for the Police Concert. Mrs Brown being out, the policeman leaves vowing to return later that evening.
Eventually, the conversation between William and Diana, which is a long one as nobody has seen fit to inform Robert that Diana has arrived, turns to Robert's money. Diana feels that Robert must be rich, as Ginger has told her that Robert is going to be a yacht tomorrow. This interests Diana very much, she advises William if what he's saying is true that she'll be seeing a lot of Robert.
Mr and Mrs Brown return and there is a flurry of bills to be paid to callers. Mr Brown rushing in each time to get the money from Mrs Brown's bag, but is actually Diana's bag - they are identical. Robert happens to take care of Diana's bracelet when it falls off her wrist - and also her earrings for similar reasons.
Diana feels like she's being robbed in plain sight and calls the lot of them thieves before getting her things back and slapping Robert in the face. By this time the policeman has returned. Robert freshly slapped asks, partly to himself, 'What on earth did she slap my face for?', the policeman responds with, 'Oh, you never know with women, sir.'
I doubt we'll be seeing Diana again any time soon!
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ethel |
| Robert |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Violet Elizabeth |
| Diana Trent |
| Policeman |
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