This is a new original story for the BBC Play series.
Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Alick Hayes.
Script published by David Schutte in William the Lionheart. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 6 8
A joyous play in which William once again bests Hubert Lane by impressing a film director. Before is all unravels...
In a change to the regular set up, there is no Mrs Brown yelling, 'William'. However, as usual, we do find William at home.
Mrs Brown is encouraging William to write elaborate thank you letters for the Christmas presents he has received. Of course, to William this is 'torcher'.
The adult Browns are all heading to the Lanes house to meet a film director. Mr Lane has some financial arrangement with the director and he has agreed to provide them with a lecture. Shockingly, William has not been invited!
Eventually, William heads out to the old barn and provides the secret knock. Well, a version of it, as it seems William has adapted it along the way! With the barn door being blocked, due to Ginger's over-enthusiastic barricading, William enters via a hole in the wall. Once in, he finds that Ginger has acquired a prisoner in the form of Violet Elizabeth, who has very helpfully tied herself up.
Following this, Hubert breaches the peace, primarily to boast about the film director that is due to visit his home. He also makes it very clear that he ensured William would not be invited. This is a boast that Hubert would not normally make, however he is accompanied by Albert (S01E05 - William Finds a Home for Albert), his new bodyguard.
Albert is much the same, although laying on the 1930s American gangster accent on a bit too thick: 'Shall I give dis guy de woiks, boss?' being just one humorous example.
Hubert and Albert make a swift exit at William's repeated orders. He, Ginger, and Violet Elizabeth decide to make their own film. With a goat!
While William and Ginger retrieve the goat from the field, we are left with Violet Elizabeth, who provides us with her first monologue. Our first entry into the private mind of Violet Elizabeth is perhaps not as different as her public persona. She wishes to be a Queen in the film, with others at her beck and call, while she knights William with a borrowed sword.
The children are 'treated' to Ginger's Firewater recipe consisting of liquorice, custard powder, tomato sauce, lemon essence, and brown sugar all mixed in an old ginger pop bottle. If any dear readers are brave enough to try this recipe - and survive to tell the tale - please do get in touch via Facebook!
Though a series of evens, William flags down Mr Schmoltz's car, to prevent it bursting tyres on glass in the road. This elaborate and extravagant man gives them a one pound reward and offers to be in his next big production. He then follows them to the barn with his assistant, a likely long-suffering, Miss Filbert. After declaring them all to be geniuses to be given big roles in his next production, including the goat. They head of to the Lane's abode.
Hubert's first words upon seeing our gang: 'Who asked you here, William Brown - you hoppit'. However, Mr Schmoltz considers William to be stupendous, magnificent, colossal. So for the time being, William and friend stay.
Schmoltz orders Mrs Lane to get ice cream and a whole host of other goodies. However, we soon hear the news from Ginger that Florence, the goat, has eaten Schmoltz's hat. The same hat we've been told he was given by the Czar of all the Russias.
Considering this a personal and intentional insult, all references to geniuses cease and are replaced instead by 'pig-dogs', all contacts null and void. Schmoltz, along with Miss Filbert, exit.
The play announcer, Margaret, sums this all up quite nicely: 'Well, that's show business for you.'
| Cast |
|---|
| William |
| Mr John Brown |
| Mrs Brown |
| Ethel |
| Robert |
| Ginger |
| Hubert Lane |
| Violet Elizabeth |
| Mrs Lane |
| Miss Filbert |
| Mrs Lane's Parlourmaid (Perkins) |
| Albert |
| Mr Schmoltz |
