BBC Radio Play S01E08 - William Buys a Present

Initial broadcast information: Tuesday, 18 December 1945, 18:30-19:00.

This is a new original story for the BBC Play series.

Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Ian Smith and Alick Hayes.

Script published by David Schutte in William the Terrible. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 4 4

In this eventful tale, we further discover how much like his father William is! We often see both leaving the house, needing reminders about where shoes, hats, etc are. But in this tale, the outcomes of both William and Mr Brown so similarly conclude, showing that William is truly his father's son.

The topic of conversation as we enter the Brown household, this December morning, is about Christmas presents. More specifically, Mr and Mrs Brown are discussing what to get Ethel, who has finished three years of 'hard barrack-room soft of life'. Mrs Brown is trying to emphasise that Ethel will want to feel soft and pretty again, a concept that Mr Brown cannot understand. This is semi-concluded with the resolution that Mrs Brown will get a present for Ethel. At which point, the discussion turns to William, who Mr Brown immediately forbids the purchase of a chemistry kit as a Christmas present, with the call back to fireworks (mentioned in a previous episode) that William had made for VJ Day earlier in the year.

After some antics that leave Mr Brown's niblick broken, Ethel mentions a new man in her life. This man, going by the name of Charlie Boyd, is to gift Ethel a gramophone, so she gives Mr Brown £2 to obtain some records for her. Ethel readies her father for work, as he has forgotten where his briefcase, etc. are located! 

Ethel walks him to the train station, giving Mrs Brown time to remember that Miss Milton has created the most lovely quilted silk dressing gown. The most perfect present for Ethel. While William is trying to convince her to buy Ethel a chemistry set instead!

Mrs Brown can't attend the sale it will be sold at (as the chimneysweep is due), and sends William instead, with a sum of money to act as a deposit. Before William leaves, he answers the phone to Charlie Boyd, who cannot now obtain the gramophone and refuses to send his 'love' to Ethel as he doesn't know her well enough. Poor Ethel.

William is first in line for the dressing gown with old pal, Ginger. Unfortunately, he doesn't declare his interest. While Ginger is frantically searching William's body for the money, another customer comes in and purchases the dressing gown, even though William is asking her to wait just a moment. Miss Milton sends William, Ginger, and Violet Elizabeth away as they are all furious with her.

Hubert entices William over to his stall and sell him a white cat, apparently for Mrs Brown, and a broken gramophone, for Ethel. How William falls for it, I don't know. But Hubert sells the gramophone on the fact that it only works when being manually wound - meaning that you don't have to get up to switch the thing off when you're done with it!

Violet Elizabeth carries the cat home for William and it is hidden in the shed (unknowingly with a bag of soot kept by the chimneysweep for Mr Brown's garden). Violet Elizabeth leaves and William enters his home, but not before actually thinking her for carrying the cat.

Mr Brown returns home, having spent money on records that he actually likes, under the guise that they were cheaper and therefore Ethel has money left over. He also presents Mrs Brown with a golf book that he has been wanting to read for some time!

William presents Ethel with the gramophone and Mr Brown sets to work with one of the records. William declares that he also has a present for Mrs Brown and sets off to the shed to recover the cat. While Miss Milton arrives to retrieve her white cat, which Hubert had stolen and sold. She is grateful to William for buying the cat and brings a chemistry set. 

Although, the play ends in screams as white cats and bags of soot mix rather too well!

Cast
William
Mr John Brown
Mrs Brown
Ethel
Ginger
Hubert Lane
Violet Elizabeth
Miss Milton
Miss Sprott
Sweep and Visiting Celebrity

Thanks for reading and keep checking back as I explore this fascinating series of plays written by Richmal Crompton.

BBC Radio Play S01E07 - William's Good Deed

Initial broadcast information: Tuesday, 11 December 1945, 18:30-19:00.

This is a new original story for the BBC Play series.

Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Alick Hayes.

Script published by David Schutte in William the Terrible. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 4 4

We are brought into the story at the Brown's house, as they are settled down to breakfast. The topic of discussion is that of Miss Gilpin and her worsening fortunes. From having many staff to care for her and her house, she is now needing to sell the unstaffed house to pay off debt, but cannot find the title deed. To this end, she has enlisted Mr Brown's help (and that of his solicitor). 

Mr Brown is in a rush and, quite sensibly, considers the yellow-coloured liquid in his new jar of honey, to be actual honey. Unfortunately, it turns out to be bicycle oil, which all makes quite logical sense in the play, but not so much sense for Mr Brown's unfortunate taste buds.

Miss Gilpin is a friend of William. To be fair, anyone that feeds William, is a friend of William. This is a bond that William will not break, it is sacred to him. If William's friends are in any trouble, he will be there to lend a hand in making things right. 

This is just so with Miss Gilpin. He enlists an unwilling Ginger to assist in searching Miss Gilpin's house for the 'doins' (title deed). Violet Elizabeth bribes her way into the search effort by way of offering William an ostrich's egg.

Fortunately, William knows a way into the house via the cellar. It isn't long until Hubert is discovered going through Miss Gilpin's things. The debt she owes is to Mr Lane. Hubert expects a commission for the repayment of this debt, if he is the one to discover the title deed.

William is about to 'slosh' Hubert for breaking the pedestal that held the bust of Miss Gilpin's father, made by her sister. However, Mr Brown steps in with Miss Gilpin before a single fist is thrown.

Mr Brown is in the process of replacing the bust onto the pedestal, despite protests from William, when the weight of the bust splits the pedestal apart. The result is unfortunately, a broken bust. The second result is fortunately, the title deeds - which Miss Gilpin's sister must have placed within the bust for safe-keeping.

Another happy ending for William. A joy to read the lengths that boy will go when endeavouring to help a friend.

Cast
William
Mr John Brown
Mrs Brown
Ginger
Hubert Lane
Violet Elizabeth
Miss Gilpin
Announcer (Margaret Hubble) Note: This is the first time that the announcer has been mentioned in the cast list.

Thanks for reading and keep checking back as I explore this fascinating series of plays written by Richmal Crompton.

BBC Radio Play S01E06 - William Gets Robert a Job

Initial broadcast information: Tuesday, 4 December 1945, 18:30-19:00.

This is a new original story for the BBC Play series, with small elements from the story in Happy Mag 163a

Adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Alick Hayes.

Script published by David Schutte in William the Terrible. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 4 4

After looking for a wardrobe for Robert in the previous play, Mr and Mrs Brown are now anxiously awaiting his return on leave from the army.

Interestingly, when he returns, he refers to Mrs Brown as 'mummy', and Mr Brown as 'Dad'. Compared to the books, this feels like quite an early change from 'Mother' and 'Father'.

Even William is pleased at the return of his brother and attempts a '21 gun salute', but using Mr Brown's golf bag, blowing out the bottom in the process. Surprisingly, Mr Brown doesn't blow his top, but quickly recovers composure, accepting that it would have been worse.

Robert gives presents all round (Ethel, we assume has returned to her post at the Auxiliary Territorial Service), with William receiving a decommissioned, but authentic, German pistol. When we discover that Robert is engaged (again), and in need of work as he is due to be demobbed from the army in the very near future; William decides to find him a job.

As William leaves, full from lunch, he mutters along to himself. He imagines an earlier time, when he could have gone up to Hounslow Heath and 'got some wicked old man's money off him' by shouting 'stand and deliver', backed up with the pistol that Robert has given him. Hounslow Heath, is an area that used to be crossed by the main routes to London and the south west of England and was notorious for highway robbers. If only he could do this, then Robert wouldn't have need of a job at all.

Ginger appears and immediately shows appreciation of William's new possession. Of course, William neglects to tell Ginger it no longer works!

After considering where they could get a free newspaper to look at the jobs listed, they eventually head to the library. Both Violet Elizabeth and Hubert enter into the story: Violet Elizabeth happens upon William and Ginger. Hubert is already at the library, improving his reading, which he enjoys. 

They find a job listing that sounds good to William, but they have no money for a telephone call. Violet Elizabeth is sent to sing in the hope that people will give her the money to make a call, while the ads check telephone kiosks. Eventually one telephone that gives then the change it was holding. However, after a hectic call with the operator, Hubert knabs the money and makes a run for it. Although not before delivering the line of the play in response to being told that Robert is engaged: "If you ask me he's a sorta matrimonial addict". Indeed, Hubert, indeed.

Sir Austin Smith enters the scene and offers them the money for the call. Upon seeing the telephone number, he realises that they are looking to respond to his job advertisement. William speaks so well on his brothers behalf that Smith follows him to the Brown residence.

Smith realises that Robert is of a higher calibre than the advertised job and upon a good reference from Robert's commanding officer, will employ Robert as his private secretary.

The ending to his lovely story is that Violet Elizabeth receives a shilling from passers-by. Her response? "Ooh! Thank you - but I really only wanted tuppenthe"

So lovely to read a story with no trouble for our often troubled hero.

 

Cast
William
Mr John Brown
Mrs Brown
Robert
Ginger
Hubert Lane
Violet Elizabeth
Sir Austin Smith
Telephone Operator

Thanks for reading and keep checking back as I explore this fascinating series of plays written by Richmal Crompton.

BBC Radio Play S01E05 - William Finds a Home for Albert

Initial broadcast information: Tuesday, 27 November 1945, 18:30-19:00.

Story first appeared in Happy Mag 19/1, under the title of, 'William Starts the New Year'.

Edited by Rex Diamond and adapted for radio by Richmal Crompton in collaboration with Alick Hayes.

Script published by David Schutte in William the Terrible. ISBN: 978 0 9546802 4 4

This is the first play in which we do not begin in the safe haven of the Brown household. Instead, we find William and Ginger at the cinema, just as the film is reaching its climax.

The hero of the film finds and returns a stolen infant. And, of course, William will do whatever he can to emulate the hero that has captured his imagination for this particular afternoon.

William and Ginger are forcibly removed from the cinema, as William's rat has escaped, giving them some extra time to enact William's plan to be a hero. Upon their exit, they come across Hubert, who after an explanation, seems keen on ensuring William sticks to his promise of doing good things for people. Starting with giving a kid on the street his final sweet - leaving William with none for himself.

This kids turns out to be the titular Albert, a kid who makes money selling coal, which he steals from coal carts by distracting horses with turnips. Gaining all round respect from our lads.

As he returns home, William hears of Miss Milton's plan for 'stronger members of the community' to help with the burdens of the weaker members, including adopting children. Miss Milton makes it clear that she doesn't have time to look after a child. She's rarely home, as she is a member of ever-so-many committees. This doesn't stop William questioning exactly what child she would like, if she could have one. 

Mrs Brown is having none of this suggestion that she should adopt a child, and explains bluntly her situation. The result is Miss Milton upset by her 'attitude'. Before Milton leaves, Mr Brown enters and arranges to view Milton's wardrobe, to see if it is suitable for Robert on his return from the army.

Albert takes a lot of convincing to stay at Miss Milton's house. He prefers to sleep in the kitchen, rather than a bed. But, never-the-less William gets his way and they enter the neat and tidy home of Miss Milton and manage to get Albert in bed. Without time to escape, William, Ginger, and a Violet Elizabeth in just her knickers (read the play!), hide in the wardrobe. All this, just at the time Miss Milton and Mr Brown enter the bedroom.

An enjoyable (for the reader) confusion and uproar ensue. Mr Brown has misunderstood the entire adoption scheme and thinks that Miss Milton has lead the way by adopting the boy in her bed. He congratulates an increasingly faint Miss Milton, but eventually the murky waters become clear. 

There is an explanation given by William, which his father accepts as him trying to turn over a new leaf. We leave William in the same state we found him - with Rufus the rat gone missing!

Cast
William
Mr John Brown
Mrs Brown
Ginger
Hubert Lane
Violet Elizabeth
Miss Milton
Albert
Commissionaire and Policeman
Lady (at cinema)

Thanks for reading and keep checking back as I explore this fascinating series of plays written by Richmal Crompton.